Breaking Up is Not That Hard to Do

Posted on September 14, 2010


I broke up with my veterinarian today.

OK, it was my dog Keegan’s veterinarian, but since I paid the bills, I’m laying claim to the divorce decision.

There are many reasons for breakups–infidelity, inattentiveness, the old standby of “irreconcilable differences.” I’m going to go with that one in my separation from Beechwold Veterinary Hospital–our differences being I feel they botched a procedure involving poor Keegan (“Who knew the laser YOU opted for on our recommendation might make an incision that did not heal properly, and he would need a second surgery and a month without exercise while wearing an E-collar, Mrs. Kraft? It wasn’t OUR fault.”) In the end we had a feisty phone consultation where I reluctantly agreed to pay a $51 bill I felt was as unnecessary as Keegan’s second surgery, as soon as they send our medical records.

Service breakups should be this clean–the person who cuts your hair badly, the doctor who makes you wait 90 minutes past your appointment time, the mechanic who cannot diagnose your car successfully. But should all breakups be so quick and easy?

Got me thinking about the article I read today about divorce insurance. Seriously.

For $16 a month you get $1,250 in coverage. Buy 10 units, and your initial coverage would be $12,500 and you’d be paying $15.99 per month for each of those units ($160). Every year, the company adds $250 in coverage for each unit. If your marriage lasts four years, you can collect to help “offset” the cost of your divorce.

Is nothing sacred anymore?

I know divorces happen all the time and have throughout time –in my 8th grade class at Capitola (Calif.) Junior High, I was just about the ONLY kid whose parents weren’t divorced. But making money off it seems a bit grubby, if you ask me. I have already know people who got married and said, out loud and to other people, “We can always get divorced if it doesn’t work out.” Why do it in the first place?!

It feels just as dirty as buying life insurance on your 9-year-old kid. And yes, someone did try to sell me that just the other day.

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